Off the bat, I must apologize for my mama's procrastination. I have been begging her for a while now to take down more dictation of my life, but apparently she has better things to do. First, she went somewhere and left me for a real long time with my cousin, Roy. It was cool to be on vacation but after a while I got sick of sharing a bed on the floor with Roy instead of the comfort of my mama's bed. And even when she got back, it's like all she cared about was some curse of "homeownership" or something and how she always had to fix things. Somedays, especially when she was crying on the phone to her daddy about how cold it was at home (and when I felt like it was actually NICE in here), I thought I might never get her attention long enough again to get her help in typin' my stories.
But since you're readin' this, you know that she finally came to her senses. She even stayed at home with me all day today even though normally when my Auntie Em leaves for the day, so does my mama. She said something about it being a man's birthday, some guy named Martin, and so she got to stay home. I just hope she wasn't referencing that awful early 90s television show...even though I do have a more sophisticated sense of humor than most, no one should think that show is funny. I mean, really Gina? REALLY?
Anyway, I digress. Having mama home was pretty fun. We took a nap together and I even let my brother from another mother, Rocco, cuddle up with mama in bed, too! I figure if mama was being so generous, so could I. Plus, Rocco and I are cool now. I may have busted his chops back in the day when we first met, but that was all for fun. I guess maybe you need to see Rocco so you know why we are what my mama calls an "odd couple." Here we are below:
You see what I mean? Under all that fur, though, he's pretty funny. So, like I said, we're cool.After our nap, and after mama did that homeowner stuff again, she got out my leash and told me we were going somewhere. I was skeptical, to say the least, because she is normally more transparent than that - as in she just tells me where we're goin' - like when she dumped me off at Grandma and Grandpa's this weekend. She told me about that for DAYS before we went. I guess she thought that was going to be a really awful experience for me. I can tell you, as someone who loves G and G a lot, I still get kinda sad when my mama is gone that long. But Grandma usually tries to give me lots of lovin' to make up for it and so it ain't so bad.
But today, she just told me we were going for a walk somewhere. I pretty much knew after we turned the corner to my dogtor's house that we were going inside. I didn't mind so much, there were a lot of nice smells and I even got to say hello to one of those really furry little dogs that don't bark but make some whining sound and then try to spit on you. I'm not talking about Rocco...these dogs are weirder than Rocco. And after we sat for what felt like most of the time I had already originally allotted for my afternoon nap, they brought me in to a room and made me stand on something. Then my mama said the most magical thing ever: "Maddie has lost 7 POUNDS in two months!!"
I am not one to brag, but I knew it. I mean, I have been lookin' GOOOOOOD! I notice more of the boys at daycare say hi to me. And not in that way they say it to the D.U.F.F. to get to the hot friend. But like they thought I was the hot friend. I mean, I know I still got a ways to go (mama says maybe about 10 more pounds...but we'll see) but for today, I feel like I'm queen of the world. And ain't nobody gonna break my stride now.
